Even though it doesn't seem like it, I really do try and keep up with this. Mostly, I always have things to say but I don't like posting so much personal stuff on here. I don't like knowing that just anyone can read these!
Anyway, lately I have been in a crafting kick thanks to one of my besties, so now we craft every moment we get. I've always loved doing this stuff but I've never really had the time to do it and now that I'm not working, well, I have more then enough time to craft. I'll have to get some pictures posted of the latest thing I made. I love it!!!
Oh, I've also been reading the Jaycee Dugard book and "WOW" is all I can say right now. I'm thoroughly disgusted at what that man did to her but I cannot put the book down because it's so good. She is probably one of the most amazingly strong woman I know. She's amazing.
I play softball on post and we are nearing the end of the season and this week is tournament week (I actually think it's this week and next, not certain. I just show up) and let me tell you that I'm SOOO excited to be done with softball! I love the game but I'm just ready to stay home in the cool AC. Plus, the last two months, I have barely seen my husband except on the weekends and I'm not a huge fan of that seeing as our time together is always limited as it is :(
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Monday, June 6, 2011
Looking for the right word to sum up today....
I don't know, I seriously woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. It didn't start out bad at all. It almost seemed as though the moment I walked in the door at work, my entire day and mood shifted from decent to crappy in about 2.5 seconds. It truly has felt like it's been one thing after another today but in reality, it's only been like two things but everything else just annoyed me.
First of all, I want to go back to school. I don't need to go back to school, I want to. I also want to get my student loans deferred for another few years because come next month I have to pay FAR TOO much to them and honestly, I don't want to just yet AND we just don't have the money to do so. Well, come to find out, there is a limit on financial aid (I feel like I've already written about this and if I have, sorry!) and I'm close, if not at my limit as to how much they will give me. So, it's looking like I won't be going back to school :(
Second, I have been interning at my job since January and I was told a few months ago that in June she would hire me and start paying me. Well, it's June....June 6th to be exact! I'm not sure how much she's looking to pay me, at the time it wasn't the most appropriate question to ask. Knowing that I won't be going back to school, I'm stressing out on how I'm going to pay my $700+ student loans next month! She hasn't brought up to me that she's going to hire me and I don't know how to bring it up to her. I'm going to use my husband as a scape-goat here and take some of the heat of of me. I'm really worried she's going to tell me that she cannot pay me for a couple more months (she's a fairly new attorney in our area) OR she is going to pay me less then what I can take right now. I need to make at the VERY least $10 an hour and I cannot wait a few more months to start getting paid. I've been there for 6 months already. In addition, I live a good 30+ minutes away from work and gas is still pretty high. Even if I did make my $10 an hour for the time I work, I probably will ONLY be making just enough to pay for my loans. That's fine and all, I don't want to take that money away from my family but I would also LOVE to have a little extra spending money. I'm so nervous to bring this up to her b/c one, i don't know where to start and two, I don't know what she's going to say. It's such a dilemma right now.
Third, I'm pretty sure there's something wrong with the transmission in my car. Ever since last Friday, I noticed that while decelerating (like coming to a stop or turning without coming to a complete stop) my car stays in 6th gear til it's about the low 40s AND goes through all the gears almost immediately when accelerating and I'm already in 6th get by mid 40s. That doesn't seem right at all. It's going to cost a pretty penny to get my car looked at and that is stressing me even more. I don't want to see that bill at all.
Fourth, I have some girly medical problems and because of them, I skip my periods b/c they are usually really bad. I'm trying to get on a new birth control and I'm waiting for good ole' Tricare to give me my referral so I can go back to my off post GYN and start this new birth control. I called my GYN and they said they haven't gotten anything yet. I'm going to give it a few more days and call Tricare and see where this is at. I went to them almost two weeks ago! And, I'm getting ready to get my period now and I'm getting miserable. THAT is probably the reason why I have been so stressed out lately. Argh!
Well, this made me feel better...just a little. I guess I just needed to get some of that out and it felt good. I'm just ready for some good things to come our way and just quit stressing out all the time.
First of all, I want to go back to school. I don't need to go back to school, I want to. I also want to get my student loans deferred for another few years because come next month I have to pay FAR TOO much to them and honestly, I don't want to just yet AND we just don't have the money to do so. Well, come to find out, there is a limit on financial aid (I feel like I've already written about this and if I have, sorry!) and I'm close, if not at my limit as to how much they will give me. So, it's looking like I won't be going back to school :(
Second, I have been interning at my job since January and I was told a few months ago that in June she would hire me and start paying me. Well, it's June....June 6th to be exact! I'm not sure how much she's looking to pay me, at the time it wasn't the most appropriate question to ask. Knowing that I won't be going back to school, I'm stressing out on how I'm going to pay my $700+ student loans next month! She hasn't brought up to me that she's going to hire me and I don't know how to bring it up to her. I'm going to use my husband as a scape-goat here and take some of the heat of of me. I'm really worried she's going to tell me that she cannot pay me for a couple more months (she's a fairly new attorney in our area) OR she is going to pay me less then what I can take right now. I need to make at the VERY least $10 an hour and I cannot wait a few more months to start getting paid. I've been there for 6 months already. In addition, I live a good 30+ minutes away from work and gas is still pretty high. Even if I did make my $10 an hour for the time I work, I probably will ONLY be making just enough to pay for my loans. That's fine and all, I don't want to take that money away from my family but I would also LOVE to have a little extra spending money. I'm so nervous to bring this up to her b/c one, i don't know where to start and two, I don't know what she's going to say. It's such a dilemma right now.
Third, I'm pretty sure there's something wrong with the transmission in my car. Ever since last Friday, I noticed that while decelerating (like coming to a stop or turning without coming to a complete stop) my car stays in 6th gear til it's about the low 40s AND goes through all the gears almost immediately when accelerating and I'm already in 6th get by mid 40s. That doesn't seem right at all. It's going to cost a pretty penny to get my car looked at and that is stressing me even more. I don't want to see that bill at all.
Fourth, I have some girly medical problems and because of them, I skip my periods b/c they are usually really bad. I'm trying to get on a new birth control and I'm waiting for good ole' Tricare to give me my referral so I can go back to my off post GYN and start this new birth control. I called my GYN and they said they haven't gotten anything yet. I'm going to give it a few more days and call Tricare and see where this is at. I went to them almost two weeks ago! And, I'm getting ready to get my period now and I'm getting miserable. THAT is probably the reason why I have been so stressed out lately. Argh!
Well, this made me feel better...just a little. I guess I just needed to get some of that out and it felt good. I'm just ready for some good things to come our way and just quit stressing out all the time.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Feeling a little useless
I just got this overwhelming feeling of how completely and utterly useless I am. I know that I'm not useless but boy am I feeling like I am right now. I mean, I feel like I'm useless at work. I don't feel like I'm being challenged enough and I just want to do more but I don't know how to ask for that exactly and I imagine I won't get it right away. And then I just found out last night that I probably won't be able to go back to school like I had wanted b/c I have just about exceeded the amount of money you can get from financial aid. I didn't know there was a limit? I really wanted to go to law school but I guess that's out of the window. My student loans are starting back up next month and I have no idea how I'm going to make these $700+ payments each month. I looked to consolidate my loans and after 25 years, my original loan will be doubled! Plus side, my payments will be only $200+ and that is SO much better then $700 but I refuse to have my debt double like that! That's insane! I'm definitely feeling like I'm in a rut right now, that's for sure. I hate feeling like this. I'm so stinkin' stressed out and I don't know how to make it better right now. I thought i had a solution but today's recent events made me think twice and make me question if I really figured crap out. I want to go back to when things were simple and all I had to worry about was what to wear to school!
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Long time no talk!
It's been far too long since I updated this thing. So, what's new?? Hmm, we recently just purchased our first home! I'm so excited and happy about it. I actually just paid our very first mortgage payment today! Oh joy! Our dogs absolutely love the new place :) I'll have to get some pictures of the house and pictures of the dogs and upload those at some point. I wouldn't expect those for another few months...joking! I'm hoping I can do better about blogging but I never seem to find anytime to do it. I'm going to try much harder though!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
It's been awhile...
I originally started a blog back when my husband was deployed and then I lost track of it and then I decided to just delete it all together. I didn't really feel like I had anything to say that was ever worth reading. So now, I'm back and I hope I can keep better track of this thing. They say writing is a good outlet and I could use a good outlet right now.
At the moment, I have so much on my mind and I really want to get everything out but what is really pressing, I don't really want to share right now. There is something I do want to share is my desire to stop being nice to people. I feel like I go out of my way to be nice to people and make them feel wanted and cared for and thought of only to get crapped on sometimes. I don't ever expect anything in return for the things that I do but don't be a jerk to me when I try to reach out to you. I'm actually probably making a bigger deal about this then I should but it just bugs me.
This blog entry will probably be bouncing around a lot because I have THAT much on my mind tonight.
We have a blue female Doberman and she just turned one this past October. She's such a sweet girl! I love her to death! Blues have a skin problem where in most cases they lose a lot of their hair. I've been working so hard to keep her hair and feed her the proper food and the time has come that she is starting to lose her hair. My heart breaks every time I look at her and find a new 'bald' spot. She's not itchy or in pain or anything so I guess that's a good thing but it just saddens me. She's a gorgeous Dobe and even if she loses all her hair, I'll still love her just the same.
Hmm, getting out this little bit of nonsense has really made me feel a little better. I guess I ought to do this more often. Anyway, I'm going to enjoy some family time and head to bed.
At the moment, I have so much on my mind and I really want to get everything out but what is really pressing, I don't really want to share right now. There is something I do want to share is my desire to stop being nice to people. I feel like I go out of my way to be nice to people and make them feel wanted and cared for and thought of only to get crapped on sometimes. I don't ever expect anything in return for the things that I do but don't be a jerk to me when I try to reach out to you. I'm actually probably making a bigger deal about this then I should but it just bugs me.
This blog entry will probably be bouncing around a lot because I have THAT much on my mind tonight.
We have a blue female Doberman and she just turned one this past October. She's such a sweet girl! I love her to death! Blues have a skin problem where in most cases they lose a lot of their hair. I've been working so hard to keep her hair and feed her the proper food and the time has come that she is starting to lose her hair. My heart breaks every time I look at her and find a new 'bald' spot. She's not itchy or in pain or anything so I guess that's a good thing but it just saddens me. She's a gorgeous Dobe and even if she loses all her hair, I'll still love her just the same.
Hmm, getting out this little bit of nonsense has really made me feel a little better. I guess I ought to do this more often. Anyway, I'm going to enjoy some family time and head to bed.
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